IN-EFFING-FURIATING!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Okay... so... I had an appointment with my ENT two days before I ended the Prednisone round.... GREAT NEWS: My hearing was **almost** completely back to normal!  I was still down in the "abnormal" range for low and high tones, but not too far away from normal range.... SO, my ENT and I agreed that I'd finish out the round of prednisone and hopefully the rest would be history... problem solved...  he scheduled another appointment on the 22nd, just in case.  And then said to call if it got worse so we could do a shorter, hard and fast batch of Prednisone.

So... the day after I finish the Prednisone, I get this incredibly high-pitched ringing in my left ear... I go to my work, pick up the hand-held phone and what-do-ya-know.... funny sounding dial tone and that's right, no tones when I punch the different numbers... SO... not ONLY am I back to square one, but NOW I have this TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS CONSTANT ringing in my left ear....  So... back on the Prednisone I go... and 5 days in - NO CHANGE!  I'm pretty sure that on my last round of Prednisone I'd noticed a difference by now.  This is SOOOOOOOOOOO frustraing!!!! 

What did I do to deserve this????  I can't hear Christmas music like I normally can... It makes me VERY annoyed to know that I'm missing sounds.... The Prednisone is starting to mess with my mood AND the stupid heartburn and CONSTANT ringing noise keeps me up half the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sigh...

This sucks.  I'm terrified that this ringing is permanent... and I might never enjoy the sound of silence ever again.

Perspective: Billions of people have worse problems.  It's liveable, annoying, frustrating and depressing but liveable...

Sigh... sorry to all who I've been short with the last few weeks... I'm tired, hopped up on steroids and stressed.  I hope this is just a stress/virus thing that will go away eventually.  If not, I hope I learn to be at peace with it, soon. 

Results

THE GOOD NEWS:

It's NOT a tumor!!!


THE BAD NEWS:

We don't know what it is....  I'm going to finish this round of prednisone and then talk to my Doctor again.  At this point, I'm just so relieved that it's not a tumor and that I only have to take prednisone for two weeks that everything seems to be in a better perspective. 

The prednisone is wreaking serious havoc on my digestive system though... seriously!  I've never understood the big deal about heart burn until now... OUCH!

The MRI

Thank heavens for the timers on the front of those machines!  I was terrified that I'd have a total claustrophobic episode.  But they have a little mirror in there so you can see out to the booth and in the reflection of the booth, you can read the reflection of the countdown on the front of the machine.  The lady who ran it was really nice too, she talked to me for quite some time and totally calmed me down.  It ended up not being so terrible.  Just boring and loud.

But, as the tech told me "The only reason they run MRI's for hearing loss is in case there is a tumor or a blood clot putting pressure on your auditory nerves."  So, now I'm just worrying that I have a brain tumor....  Of all the things I never thought I'd be worrying about....  I should have results by Tuesday at the latest.  I will keep you posted.  I'm sure it's nothing that serious.

Umm.... THAT'S NOT NORMAL....

About 3 days ago I noticed that my hearing was a little off.  I picked up my desk phone at work to dial a number and noticed that in my left ear, the dial tone sounded wrong... muffled and about two octaves lower that normal.  Also, when I punched the different numbers, I couldn't hear the different tones.  So, I went to my ENT (otolaryngologist) whom I've had since about the age of 3 (I had a TON of ear infections as a little one).  I was SURE that he would look in my ear and say "Yep, you've got a bunch of wax or water in there, let me clean it out and you'll be fine."  Nope, he said there was nothing there, and didn't look infected. 

"Um.... okay...."   After about two hours of testing with an audiologist... I have apparently lost about 60 decibles worth of hearing in my left ear alone (I'm now WAY below normal).  The research and the Dr. said that this condition (Sudden Onset Hearing Loss), about half the time, goes away on its own in a few weeks while taking steroids.  Some people have something pushing on their nerve, so he ordered an MRI.  I've never had one of those... I have one at 3:00 today... kinda scared...

Anyway, The for the other half of patients....  THE HEARING NEVER COMES BACK AND NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN WHY!  So... I'm now partially deaf and it may never come back!?!?!?!  I know I shouldn't FREAK out until the prednisone has had time to work, but... seriously?  NEVER?  NO EXPLAINATION? 

Okay... perspective... I can still hear quite well in my right ear, I'm not totally deaf and can function....  There's billions of people in the world with worse problems than this......

My problems aren't so bad...  it's livable, annoying and depressing, but livable....

Sorry, had to vent some anxiety, fear, paranoia, fear, more paranoia and some depression...

Thanks!

In not-so-recent news 2.0

Sorry again… It’s been a lousy couple of months and I didn’t feel like posting anything while I was in a bad mood. Granted there were some great things that happened in the last few months, but the bad somehow seems to always overshadow the good. Well…. To sum up in pictures here’s a re-cap of the last few months:

July 19 - My 26^th Birthday

Seriously? I’m 26? How did that happen?

July 22 – August 13 – Jared in Singapore

Jared said Singapore was AMAZING! He actually got used to the nearly 100% humidity. He said it was beautiful there and wonderful to have an immersion experience in a different culture. He said the people were absolutely wonderful!  Maybe someday we’ll go visit together.  He also got to see Slash in concert while he was there!

July 25 – Grandpa D Passed Away

Yes, for those of you looking at these dates, Jared left the 22^nd, my Grandpa D passed away 3 days later. Jared and I both knew when he got on the plane that this was a distinct probability. Still, I wished he could have been here. It really sucks not having your husbands shoulder to cry on.   Jared was also supposed to be a pallbearer, and felt horrible for not being here for that.  The funeral was beautiful though, and I am so grateful that he is out of pain and in a better place. Still, we all miss him dearly and feel the void his passing has left behind.  Love you Grandpa D!

July 29 – August 6 – Painting Project

In order to deal with loss, I believe it is therapeutic to have a project that demands physical labor. I always tend to lose sleep after I find out a loved one has passed, even if I saw it coming. Working your body really hard insures that at the end of the night, my body is so tired; my mind has no opportunity to race when I lie in bed. I didn’t get to the dresser (which is currently occupying valuable garage space) but, I did repaint my master bed and bath. I will post before and after pictures soon....

Tips for painting a room alone:

#1 – DON’T, just DON’T! (You’ll think it’s easy enough to handle by yourself… and then your 2-day project turns into 7 days and you wind up sleeping on the guest bed for a week.) 

#2 – Bar stools are NOT comparable replacements for step ladders.

August 8- August 13 – Aspen Grove

For those of you not familiar with Aspen Grove, it is a wonderful place, run by BYU Alumni Association. It is a place where people with very large (or very small) extended families can all gather together and have a blast! My mom’s family (her immediate family and their kids) have all gathered at this place several times in the past. Every time we go (she has seven siblings and as a result I have 30+ cousins, plus their spouses, plus their kids) we have an INCREDIBLE time! I never leave that place without knowing I’ve made memories I’ll cherish forever. 

Ah, Aspen Grove, how I love thee, let me count the ways:

Hiking

Biking

Swimming

Fishing

All meals taken care of!

Pottery

Tennis

Basketball

Racquet ball

Badminton

Horseshoes

EXTENDED FAMILY TIME!!!

**Jared had our camera while he was away, so I don't have pics of Aspen Grove from our camera**

September 9 – Our 6^th Anniversary

No pictures of this either, but Jared took me out to Chef’s Table. It was wonderful!!

4-Wheeling

My parents, my sister Karen, Jared and I went 4-wheeling in San Pete. It was beautiful and SO much fun!

September 22 -- Andy gets his mission call!!!

I can NOT believe my brother is old enough to be going on a mission! *sniff, sniff* Here's a picture of him opening his call, it is tradition in our extended family to wait and surprise everyone at once... the BEST was my Mom's reaction (she sat for a solid 3 minutes with this half-smile half-horrified look!  PRICELESS)!  Anyway, he'll be off to North Mexico City in Febraury!

September 29 – Present – Flooring (AKA the NEVERENDING PROJECT!)

Bless Jared’s heart for doing all this work. I wish I could say I helped, but I was busy working and preparing and helping at the Night of the Running Dead. Our brother-in-law Jeff came down from Idaho to help too! THANKS JEFF!!! When all the flooring was in, Jared decided that we JUST COULDN’T put the old couches back in the house because they were now full of sawdust (from cutting up the floor pieces). Thus, we ended up buying new couches. Then, we decided we couldn’t let the dog on the new couches so he needed a new bed. Sigh…. To quote Dar Williams “The building is done, but the work’s never through.”  Here's a before of the kitchen, where Hades had torn up some of the linoleum...  and the front room after.  The kitchen now has the same new flooring as the living room (pictured below with the new couches and rug).

October 2 – Night of the Running Dead!

My friend Craig (whom I’ve mentioned before and is pictured below) had a dream of creating a haunted house. I’d talked to him about it years ago and always told him if he needed help I would be there in a SECOND, just to help be a part of the fun. But, when a bad Facebook joke kept evolving, he instead organized and carried into fruition a 5k race called “The Night of the Running Dead.” Kudos to Craig for making this event SO memorable and SOOOO much fun! The thing that made this 5k so unique is that half the racers were given a 1 minute head-start and they were classified as “survivors” the other half of course, were “zombies”. If you were a survivor who came in behind the first zombie to cross the finish line, you were considered “eaten” at the end of the race. There were actors along the course route to keep the creepy atmosphere going too. It was GREAT! I can’t wait for next year!

October 22 - Justin's Birthday Dinner!

We had dinner with Heidi and Justin to celebrate Justin's B-day! Sorry Justin, I had to! It's just too good a pic not to post!!

October 31 - HALLOWEEN!

I was boring this year... No costume and Jared refused so... I carved both pumpkins...

The Good, The Very Bad and The Insane!

THE GOOD:

Owen Douglas Felts - My older sister had her second baby! Cute little bounder!

Birthdays – Ian turned 2! I know it’s terrible of me to spoil this kid like I do, but he’s got me wrapped around his finger, and I LOVE IT! Every time he says “Pweese Ninna!?!” my resolve melts and I collapse like an umbrella. So, much to the annoyance (and frequently the ignorance) of his parents, I just WON’T say no!

Karen, my sister had her birthday too! I love her guts!!

My Grandma Ruth had her 86^th birthday too, we had a BIG family get together but I forgot my camera that day so this is one from my brother's graduation dinner.

Bug's Graduation - My little brother, the baby of our family, graduated from High School. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I’m happy for him that he never has to go back to Alta again, sad because I can no longer deny that he is grown up. My parent's took us all to Market Street Grill to celebrate!

Heidi’s Wedding! – Congratulations Schmeidles and Justin!!! I couldn’t be happier for you!!! You are both wonderful!

THE VERY BAD:

Cancer - Over Memorial Day weekend, we found out that my Dad's Dad, my Grandpa D has cancer... In the Doctor’s own words “It’s everywhere.” We're not sure he'll see the end of July.... The same day, we found out that my Mom’s Mom has got metastatic cancer in her liver. Her prognosis is not as bad, but is still terminal. My family and I have been spending as much time with Grandpa D as possible and my Grandma Ruth is living with my parents during treatment. This has hit my parents pretty hard. While I am still in denial that one day I will lose MY parents, the excruciating pain that I see in them, realizing they are losing their parents is undeniable and most of the time, unbearable. The only things that I have found consoling during this time have been that: (1) knowing their prognoses has allowed everyone to say their goodbyes, which I consider to be a direct gift from God. Having someone go suddenly and leaving things unsaid has been, in my experience, the worst part of death. And (2) both of my grandparents seem to have completely come to terms with the fact that they’re “graduating.” My Grandma Ruth even told one of her physicians “It’s okay honey, I never expected to live this long anyway!”

Singapore - For anyone who has known me at all over the last few years, you will know that Jared's work has been playing him like a yo-yo. They keep saying they might send him to Singapore to help get their new plant up and running. Well, they've been "threatening" to do this for years. So, when there’s this type of talk, I usually just roll my eyes. But, in the last few weeks they've been getting pretty darn serious about it. Jared now has a confirmed seat on a flight leaving July 22^nd. He will be gone “a minimum of three weeks.” While this just plain sucks, it is good that his work needs him as much as they do, especially in this economy. So, if anyone is bored during the weeks after July 22^nd, give me a call!

THE INSANE:

Family Reunion - Jared’s family (his brother, sisters, their kids and his parents = 27 people) have a bi-annual reunion. The reunion planning responsibility rotates between each individual family member. When I say this, I mean, the individual plans: the location, the activities, the food and the budget… for all 27… for a week! Well, this time it was OUR turn to plan… aka MY turn to plan. So, I’ve been planning this thing for two years. The food, the budget, the location, the itinerary and activities were all planned.

But, since NOTHING in my life seems to be working right these days… What happens exactly 10 days before the reunion is to commence? I get a phone call from the cabin owner saying “Oh, sorry, we’ve run into a problem with the County Inspectors Office, and can no longer rent to you.” WHAT!?!?!? So, yeah, we (the entire family) scramble to find a new location. We end up in a completely different State (Vail, CO as opposed to Ashton, ID) and with our itinerary pretty much blown since two of the days we were planning on being in Yellowstone. So… yeah, we pretty much just played the entire thing by ear and at the drop of a hat. It was a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation and was, in my opinion, fun, but a bit of a disaster. Needless to say, when it is my turn to do this thing again in 12 years, I may consider divorcing Jared; it would be WAY less work! But it looks like the kids had fun, right?

Yard – Jared has been promising me since we moved into our house that we could re-vamp the front yard. Mostly because the front planter beds looked like they’d been planned, developed and built by retarded monkeys. I’ve had in my mind what I’ve wanted to do for quite some time. However, we’ve never had the money to do that. But, we scrimped and saved and finally had the money to do this. So, after a lot of money and back-breaking labor, we moved all of the slate from the front yard and turned it into a nice little side-garden. Then took the new brick and put in a (hopefully) much improved retaining wall. I know it doesn’t look like much yet, but when I till the soil and get my plants put in, it will look better, I promise!

Restoring the Dresser - While Jared is gone, this is going to be my project. Unfortunately, this thing has been my project for about 6 years. Yes, I am a procrastinator! But, hopefully with Jared gone, I will have some spare time to restore this old thing. I know what you’re thinking: “Melinda, why in the heck don’t you just buy a nice, new dresser? That would be WAY easier and probably cheaper than trying to restore this old thing that has 90 bazillion layers of paint.” The only reason I’m spending so much time and effort on it, is that it was built by my Grandpa D’s father. This makes it more sentimentally valuable than monetarily, especially now.

Well, that's about all for now! Love to all!

I am a terrible, terrible wife

For posting this, but I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF....

So, my family plays this game where we wear headphones and turn up the music REALLY loud and then sing along in a kareoke machine. Last Christmas, Jared took on Whitney Houston's "And I Will Always Love You"....

The Good part starts about 20 seconds into the video....


ENJOY!