When your own Mother tells you so! I just couldn't help myself today! I have this pact with my sister Karen, when I get pregnant, she will be the FIRST person I tell. So, this being April 1st, I text Karen:
"Okay so I always promised that you could be the first to know... How are we going to tell Jared?"
Then, I text my Mom:
"So... Just FYI... Ian is going to have a cousin come November 3rd."
(Yes, I was extra mean by including a very plausible due date)
**************Approximately 20 Minutes Later ***********
*Phone Rings, It's Karen*
Karen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I've been screaming in my car!
Me: Kar
Karen (over the top of me): YAY I AM SO EXCITED, OMIGOSH,
Me: KAR!
Karen (over the top of me): HOW ARE WE GOING TO TELL JARED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOW, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE....
Me: KAREN!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know it's April Fool's right?
(Long Pause)
Karen: YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT, YOU ARE AWFUL! THAT IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Karen: **Click**
******Approximately Another 20 Minutes Later **********
*Phone Rings, It's Mom*
Mom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN SCREAMING IN MY BATHROOM FOR 20 MINUTES! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Me: Mom?
Mom (Over the top of me): WHY DID YOU TEXT ME THIS? WHY DIDN'T YOU DRIVE UP HERE AFTER YOUR APPOINTMENT!?!? DOES JARED KNOW?
Me: MOM!
Mom (Over the top of me): Yay! I will have two cute new Grandbabies this year! Oh, and they can play together!!
Me: MOM, MOM? MOM!?!?!?
Mom (Over the top of me): When can we go shopping! Oh, who have told? What is it? Oh, you don't know yet, too early!?!?
My little brother (in the back ground): MOM!?! What the heck are you screaming for?
Mom (to Andrew, my brother): MELINDA'S PREGNANT!!!
Andrew: CONGRATULATIONS MELINDA!!!
Me: MOM! Mom, you know that it's April 1st right?
(Long Pause)
Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE PERSON!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT! THAT IS THE MEANEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? MELINDA!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!
Andrew: What now?
Mom: It's April Fools!
Andrew: OH NICE ONE MELINDA!
Mom: THAT IS NOT NICE, IT IS TERRIBLE, MELINDA YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON!!! I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Mom: Seriously though, I thought "why would she text me this?" I was thinking "why wouldn't she just come here and tell me?" Just for the record, don't text me when you really do find out, tell me in person!
Me: hahahahahaha! Okay Mom! I gotta go back to work!
Mom: SERIOUSLY THOUGH, YOU ARE TERRIBLE, THIS IS NOT FUNNY, I AM REALLY MAD AT YOU!
Me: Didn't you know what day it is? C'mon?
Mom: NO I DID NOT! IT IS SPRING BREAK I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN A CALENDAR TODAY!
Me: AWESOME!
Mom: NOT AWESOME! GOOD BYE!
**********Approximately 20 Minutes Ago **************
I get a text from Mom:
"MELINDA IS A BIG FAT LIAR!!!!!!!! POOH ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
**************Approximately 10 Minutes Ago *************
Another text from Mom:
"I feel so inexplicably sad... for one brief shining moment I saw the face of a beatiful brown eyed boy.... sighhhhhhhhhhhhh."
************Just after reading that text*****************
Me: Sigh... no one can guilt-trip you like your own Mother.....
Happy April Fools Everyone!
2 comments:
Cruel. So very cruel. You give your sister and mother hope for another grandchild in the family and then rip their hearts out when you tell them it was all a joke! April Fools day is the worst. Now they won't believe you when you really do get pregnant!! You're the girl who cried wolf. :)
Ha, ha, ha, ha! You are so bad. I've pulled this trick but never as successfully as you have. I love how you didn't even have to do that much, your family's imagination just ran wild. Hilarious.
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